Thursday, February 26, 2009

How far do I have to go to get to you? | Many the miles.

So often I want to do everything I see. I just don't know how to get started.

I forget what it feels like to be meant for somebody.

"There's too many things I haven't done yet
There's too many sunsets I haven't seen."

Popping out of the snow like daisies <3

After being couch-ridden with a ridiculous fever for the past 2 days, I have started to come out of my sickly daze to come to a revelation... I think.

I am okay.

I am oh. kay. After talking with a good friend for some time about relationships, I realize just how far I've come. I often don't give myself credit for the steps I have taken, but maybe it is now time. I think back to junior year, about all the mess I've allowed myself to endure, and I have come out of it with a deeper understanding of how people work, and how much confidence and respect I now have for myself. Everything in life is a learning experience and a chance to grow, even if that growing seems unbearably painful at first. At first it will feel like your heart has been ripped from your very insides, but in time you will come to find that instead of letting someone else love your heart, you have learned to love it yourself. And in that comes deep satisfaction and determination.

I can't believe it's already March. Bring on the sunshine.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Jai Ho to Es'Caerta to Ayudame

"I’ve passed this night dancing on coals
I blew away the sleep that was in my eyes
I counted the stars 'til my finger burned."


My heart hurts. I wish there was someone I could talk to. Art is my only refuge, where I can understand myself. I wish I had something to post up.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Pick me up, Love, Everyday.

Necessito salir.

Pick me up, oh, from the bottom
Up to the top, love, everyday.
Pay no mind to taunts or advances
I'll take chances on everyday
Left to right, up and down love
Push up love love, everyday.
Jump in the mud, oh,
Get your hands dirty with -
Love it up, oh - everyday.
All you need is -
All you want is -
All you need is love.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Hope is rising.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Most Used Words Since June 28th, 2008.

All of my blog posts since the aforementioned date. Wordle takes all your words and pulls out your most frequently used words and sizes them according to how often they are used. I am so overjoyed to see that God is the largest in my collage <3
Yay Jesus.
Wordle: LaBellaIronia
Courtesy of - click to enlarge.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Like the strange, gnarled woman selling glowing golden frogs

No matter how hopeless it may seem, and no matter how bereft and isolated I feel, I must always remember that I have something that no one can ever take from me; like a rare jewel embedded into the very cells of my skin, breathing with me, beating within my own heart and causing the blood to course through my veins. It is of exceptional value that cannot ever be matched, and I must remember that it will always be a part of me that no one can duplicate or steal or cheapen.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

I don't know why people run. I don't know why things fall through.

I don't know how anybody survives in this life without someone like you.

Will you share your life with me for the next ten minutes?
For the next ten minutes - we can handle that.
We could watch the waves, we could watch the sky,
Or just sit and wait as the time ticks by.
And if we make it 'til then,
Can I ask you again for another ten?
And if you in turn agree to the next ten minutes -
And the next ten minutes - 'til the morning comes.
Then just holding you
might compel me to ask you for more.


"It's funny how we become increasingly aware of just how many people inhabit this earth when they are every person except the one we are hoping to see."

{ <3 Valentine _____// }

"We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart."

Red wine, dark chocolate, and painting. What a wonderful evening.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

You're like an Indian Summer in the middle of Winter.

I miss rainy coffee days and warm Harry Potter nights.

The very fabric of my life feels different cloaked around my shoulders. I am happy, but I lack the deep-settled feeling of contentment that I had last year - a part of my life that seems to have happened ages ago. I think, more than any one thing, I miss the context you created in my life.

So many times I have wished for a time machine.

I find it ironic that I need to keep reminding myself of what day it is; I keep forgetting - you stand in the way.

Sunday, February 8, 2009


Work in Progress <3 Just need to finish the roses...

"The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged."

Saturday, February 7, 2009

You think that people would've had enough of silly love songs.

I look around me and I see it isn't so.
Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs.
Well, what's wrong with that? I'd like to know.
Sometimes I believe it is possible. And I hold tight to it.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Lovely Friday Night

Sushi. Photography. Secret Life of Bees.

This weekend is looking exceptional. Tonight was wonderful Erin reflection chill movie night, and tomorrow I will be getting up early to have diner breakfast, coffee, and cinnabuns, and then I will make art all day long. Afterward, I'll head over to hang out, make dinner for some excellent friends, and watch Star Wars. <3
So much for getting out early.

What's another 6 extra hours?

Thursday, February 5, 2009

I hope that one day I will be able to feel like that about someone again.

Hey oh, here I am. And here we go, life's waiting to begin.

Today is a beautiful day. It is 12 degrees, I scraped ice off my car this morning and got stuck in traffic, but gosh darn, it is a good day to be alive. I get to spend the whole day interviewing students and chatting it up with them, and decorating for Spring Phonathon. The theme is SWEET, and I am SO excited to see all my students again! I undeniably miss them a ton, and it's so cool to concretely know that whatever I do in life, I want to work with people. I definitely still want to teach at some point, but hopefully whenever I go to grad school it will include a program that offers me the opportunity to teach undergrad classes. That would be amazing. I love people :) I don't know what changed, but I have had inexplicable joy in my heart for the past few days. I think I have been noticing the little things that make my days so great, like spending time joking around with my workstudies, my two cups of free coffee every morning at the office, Top Chef and Hot Tamales, hearing my favourite songs on my commute, and my love for art. Last night I started the 6th Sword of Truth Goodkind book. <3 LOVE.

[I got lazy.]
I am addicted to ProjectPlaylist.
"The Walk" by Imogen Heap is one of my favs.
I feel like my hard work is paying off, and everyone seems extremely pleased with my work.
I love art. I love photography.
I can't wait to have another photoshoot.
I love coffee.
Angels and Airwaves kick.
All glory to the Lord Almighty in the Highest.

"A place so gloriously wired with lights and sounds
Oh God, this is such a mess.
And it's like our world,
but we're the last ones left.
And the hair, it stands on the back of our necks.
And I swear it shows,
Heaven must be just like this."

Monday, February 2, 2009

Confessor's Face

The sky is terminally gray today, or so it seems. I became spoiled with the sunshine yesterday as I walked through Central Park with DJ, taking our coats off as we skirted back from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I let it soak too far into my veins, forgetting that we were still stuck in desolate, unyielding February. I used to think that if I could get to December, then I would be okay; now I find myself looking to springtime to lift my spirits. I suppose this is a natural cycle, given that the only reasons I really like winter are snow and Christmas. I prefer when everything is green, when you step outside and the warm air raises the hair on your arms, when I can be sitting in the grass, when I can open the windows, when thunderstorms decorate the dark sky of late-afternoon, when I can wear skirts. I seem to be waiting for some event, some turning point in time to let me decide to take more steps forward in my own heart to continue this cliche, awful, beautiful journey. I don't know what it is. I don't know what I am waiting for, really. Something.

It's snowing again, and I have so much to do.

A few favourites from DJ and my NYC photoshoot.
*Please check out my art website and facebook for more.

"I'd like to say that you're my only fear
And when I dream it slowly disappears
And when I wake
I'm right there by your side
to feel your heart beat in and out of time."
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