I can't.
--
Find me here, speak to me
I want to feel You, I need to hear You
You are the light that's leading me
To the place where I find peace, again.
You are the strength that keeps me walking.
You are the hope that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose; You're everything.
And how can I stand here with You and not be moved by You?
Would You tell me how could it be any better than this?
--
I keep trying to write this blog post... I have deleted what I've written about 4 times now. Nothing I can say can compare to the raw honesty of the words above. They are exactly what I want to say. They are exactly what I want to say to God. I have such inexplicable joy in my heart. What have I done to deserve such good favour? Even when things seem out of control, these past few weeks I have been able to walk so closely with God, and in the midst of uncertainty, He has placed peace and surrender within my heart. I find myself never wanting to leave His side. I find myself walking in the rain beside Him, not running for shelter because I would rather be close than far away. I find myself weeping for joy at the hands of my maker, who knows me inside and out and gave me all of my talents. I look at every good thing in my life and I see Christ. I am so thankful for my art: my island in the tempest. When I make art, I feel God's presence because I can understand the joy of creating beauty to share with others. Our God must be a loving God; I know because I feel His fulfillment and light when I create. Only because I know that my God is faithful to me, could I have ever gone on from the things I have seen. What did I do to earn such good favour? That my God would never forsake me even when I cannot forgive myself and others for the things that have happened? That my God sees my fears and wraps me in His arms? That my God would inspire me in the blink of an eye and then move my hands with grace? Right now my fingers can't type what's in my heart; all I can do is repeat the words above. Right now my fingers ache to lovingly create something that would bring glory to the One who deserves all the glory, forever and ever.
"Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow." Jeremiah 31:12-14
Sunday, April 26, 2009
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